Monday, 12 August 2013
Let's go back to the beginning...
Hello there friend!
I hope this blog post finds you well. Are you comfortable? Then let us begin.
Once upon a time...at forum 2012, I was trying to decide about Relay 2013/2014. Now, some would say it would have been a natural progression in life but I think my heart was scared, I was scared. You see, I am 21 years old and have been walking my faith without my family for the last 6 years and finally after 2 1/2 years at university, I have finally found home.
But here was my dilema...staying in Oxford next year was attractive and yet not right and Relay scared the bajeebies out of me. I think sometimes when things scare you, you have to ask what you are standing on or trusting in to protect you. I decided before the summer that it was up to Lord to make his desires known and made it my mission to seek him out through prayer until I heard what he wanted. I was, lets say, determined. The only problem...once you say to God, "it's up to you", he takes that as word.
So here I was, at forum, stewarding, having a brilliant time and loving it. I didn't really want to go because I knew God would speak to me and I was reluctant to listen in case I heard, but I had the evening off and the talks were insanely great so I went along. The talk as always, was awesome and I decided to go up for prayer at the end. I wanted to see a shift in my heart. A lovely girl came to pray for me and I received her words of encouragement but still knew my heart was hard so I went back to my seat. I then asked my friend to pray for me and she did. Again...something was holding me back so I decided to ignore what I was feeling and just praise the lord...
"And I will tell the world that Jesus loves,
for he came to earth to rescue us
Only Jesus saves I will proclaim
come find peace, come find joy, come find hope
in Jesus name."
That was it! That was what I wanted, that was what I wanted my life to be, that was what I desired more than anything. I wanted to tell people the joy of the cross, the peace of acceptance and adoption and the hope of life with Jesus. I wanted that, more than anything else in the world, suddenly everything else fell away and all I could do was sing and declare those words. My friend came up and had seen my seeking the Lord and wanted to pray for me. She prayed for me and I thanked her, we started chatting but something was still holding me back...
We decided to go and pray at the front. And it was there that I had time with the Lord that I so badly needed. In the time that followed he broke the lie that I would be on my own, that there was anything to fear and he spoke to me of his closeness, his good plans and his authority over fear. 'There is fear in love'. Next year is a step out in faith, I trust and know my God is there but without his comfort and assurance there would be no way I would be stepping out.
This is how I can say with peace, joy and assurance that plans have changed.
Unfortunately I can no longer be a relay worker at Brunel University next year but now, I am going to
Cardiff. :)
I wasn't expecting it, it wasn't in my plan but God is in control and I am so so excited to go and love the Cardiff students, encourage them and introduce, reveal more of or proclaim Jesus Christ. He is my peace, my joy and my hope. Without him, I am nothing but with him, I have all I need and could ever hope.
I will tell the world that Jesus loves, that he came to Earth to rescue us, for you see; Only Jesus saves and I will proclaim "Come find peace, come find joy, come find hope in Jesus name!".
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So my relay journey has taken an unexpected turn but I am walking and as I do God is revealing to me more and more of his richness. Already I am getting excited and looking forward to my welsh year. It's going to be wild, it's going to be great and it's going to be FULL of him!
Until next time dear reader, it's been a pleasure.
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